“And I’ve become content with this life that I lead where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything.”
People are going to let you down and disappoint you. It’s ok, you will survive. Take a breath and get over it.
Sometimes you just have one of those days where you want to scream, cry, break something, start an argument and just be mad and sad and unreasonable. There will be days when you feel all emotions except happiness all at once and that’s ok. As long as you know everything will be ok.